The Search → The Question → The Pivot
The Search
It began with a search for answers.
A search for words to explain what I could feel, but could not yet name. Then the words began to appear.
coercive control
gaslighting
narcissistic abuse
trauma bond
and questions appeared
why can't I trust myself
am I the problem
why am I confused
The Question
At first, understanding what happened mattered.
Being able to name it mattered.
Knowing I wasn't imagining it mattered.
But eventually another question began to emerge.
Now what?
The Pivot
I realised I did not want to build my life around what had happened.
I wanted to discover what remained when the explanation was no longer the centre of the story.
Naming the environment began to bring clarity.
It wasn't the destination.
And proving what happened was no longer the work.
I no longer wanted to be a "survivor",
I wanted to live.
MOVE
I had known something was wrong.
Now, I wanted my life back.
I am no longer trying to prove it happened.
No longer trying to convince others.
I am no longer trying to get justice.
Nor seeking validation, from others, or myself.
Remembering
A place where my experience could be spoken.
I did not have to perform it, or get lost in it.
Nor endlessly repeat it.
Just be with it.
Where I could begin to see myself again.
The Return
I am no longer interested in why I was trapped,
Not because somebody rescued me.
Not because somebody fixed me.
Not because somebody interpreted me.
But because I started trusting myself again.
Leanne Gaille
A space defined by you
Coercive control coach
© 2025 Leanne Gaille. All Rights Reserved.
The Architecture of Choice™ (AOC), Sovereignty Response System™ (SRS), and The Inner Reunion™
These are proprietary frameworks developed by Leanne Gaille. Unauthorised reproduction, adaptation, or distribution of these materials, including the HOLD-BREATHE-MOVE™ methodology, is strictly prohibited.
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